I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
