I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
