I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
