Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
