He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize