If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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