He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
