OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
