Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
