Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
