The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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