I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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