Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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