Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
What a dumb baby whore.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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