woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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