i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
My vagina is very pro this idea
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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