we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
