I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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