I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
