You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
