Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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