Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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