he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
