You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize