sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
