My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I could make wine with my vomit
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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