just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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