Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
