Whod you bang
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize