well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
