Sry I called you an 8
Screwed.edu
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
