You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
