it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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