Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Someone stole a lamp last night.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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