I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
