He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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