can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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