We're facebook friends in real life
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize