Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
