This girl is more easily done than said...
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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