happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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