i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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