It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
