Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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