yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
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