Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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