sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
