I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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