When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
did you just send me my own nude
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
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