Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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