I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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