Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize