Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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