no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
