So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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