Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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