I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
