i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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