Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
