you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
