Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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