Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
