Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
