Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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