i will never coherently bang her
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
