Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize