Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
