i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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