Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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