I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
