i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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