Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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