Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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