I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
