you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
