So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Damn victory sex feels great
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
