Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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