We named our party play list daddy issues
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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