It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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