When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
