Michael Bay diarrhea
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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