So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
