I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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