i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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