Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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