I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
